Monday, December 30, 2013

Tis' The Season!

With the old year coming to a close and a new one getting ready to start, I figured I would put in one last 2013 blog. So here goes.

This year was a mixed bag for me, some good moments along with some not so good ones. However my best one would have to be a visit from a very good friend in Switzerland. I met  her about 4 or so years ago now, oddly enough on a message board for Jackson Rathbone ( a place I have found other very good friends as well). This August she came for a two week visit, one I'm sure will be repeated over the years. I plan to make my own trip to Switzerland to visit her this coming September, but that's a blog all to it's self.

This year also saw me turning 26. It's not an age I'm scared of yet, but with it came few surprising symptoms. One of which was falling asleep by 8:30. I'm normally a night owl, most of the time I'm getting ready for bed just as the sun is waking up everyone else.

I'm not making new years resolutions this year, I never seem to stick to them for long anyway. Instead, I'm making a list of goals and projects I want to see myself finish this next year. Small things I can easily do, but a big enough personal change to better the end result. Make sense?

I'm also hoping this year will find me having a ton of things to add and update on my book. I've been on and off with my work on it. I'm blaming Simon for that one. It's hard to spend time on the computer writing a book when you have this face begging you.

Whats your goals, resolutions, wishes for 2014? Let me know in a comment below. Also let me know if there is anything you would like to see from me in a future blog.

See you next year!

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Cleaning up the place

You may have noticed that my blog posts are a little out of order, that is only because I have been doing some (late) spring cleaning. With a brand new website in the works, as well as other projects, I felt it was time to not only redo the blog layout, but clean up my past blog post. In doing that it posted older ones in front of newer ones.

I'm sorry for any confusion this may cause.

The new blog is coming along slowly, but so far no glitches. I'm hoping to have it up and running sometime this month. Fingers crossed I can get this all done before summer really picks up and life gets busy.

I'm also a bit under the weather as I type this, spring/summer allergies holding on for dear life. I'm feeling better, all but a nagging cough that always seems to last forever.

So what has been going on with me since my last blog update? Sadly not much, between my job, my book, and working on making this site happen. There hasn't been much time, a few movies with my friend Ashley know and then is really about it.

I'm hoping this summer will lend a balance for both work and play. As being able to spend a day at the beach is becoming muchly needed.

Also, if you haven't already, I have made a 'Dog Blog' it's a blog all about my Simon. I post stories, adventures and pictures of him there. So please check it out, and leave me some love.


2010 and whats next

 Originally posted in 2010

So I know there has been lack in updating, but I can explain. 2010 has been a pretty busy year for me, traveling, writing, working, and a few other things thrown in here and there.

Which reminds me, I still have to finish uploading my vacation and travel videos of 2010 on YouTube, before the start of 2011. And with 2011 just a few hours away, its gonna be another jam packed year. More traveling, writing and working.

So let me try to catch you up a bit. Shall we?

May: May was sort of the start of my insane year, I spent a week in MO for a small vacation, and my long time friends graduation from college. A mile stone in which I couldn't miss.

July: July brought the moving in of my aunt from Montana, and the start of my plans for August.

August: With August came my second trek to Auburn Hills, MI for the SBL concert. A weekend event of music and friends raising money, and supporting a good cause.

October: October was my grand finale in vacations, why? One word "Disney" baby! Now I'm not a big Disney movie fan, I have a few Tim Burton movies I like, but never really been a "Disney princess" kinda girl. However Disney must be visited to be truly believed. I turned into a 10 year old again. Another must repeat trip, I promise you I will do again.

I had a trip planned for November, but conflicting dates with my other trips were cutting just too close. That will be my starting off 2011 trip, and further putting me in debt. Oh well you only live once.

This year also included my 23rd birthday, just a few weeks ago. It was spent with family and friends.

So now on to 2011.

I'm hoping this year to add even more states to my travel list. My list of things I want to accomplish in the new year is growing by the day, and everything on it WILL get done. I'm gonna make sure of that.

With that said, I'm going to do my best to make this blog be on that list. To keep you, and it updated as best I can. Some blogs may be short others may take awhile, the fact is I will try.

I'll close this here and wish you all a safe and happy New Year!


Such is life

 Originally posted in 2010

Ok so most of the blogs done on here by me, have been about traveling, my writing, and Spencer's influence on both. However, this blog will be somewhat more personal.

After having lost a pet and taking a year or so break from having one again. I decided to rescue, by the way if you are ever looking for a new pet, please rescue, these are some of the best animals you will ever find. Ok back on topic, In that rescue I found a wonderful nine year old dachshund named Simon. Simon had come from GA, after having lived with his former family for all of those nine years, he was given up for a "new puppy".

That was two years, Since then he has given me nothing but his love and devotion. He sleeps under the covers with me, never leaves my side, and when I do go away, even for a few hours, will sit at my front door and wait for me. It seems in me rescuing him, he rescued me too. The love and enjoyment he has given me, was worth every penny and every risk that comes from rescuing.

But as said above when I got him he was already nine years old. This August he will be twelve. Same for dogs as with humans as we age, things start to give out on us. A knee will start to hurt that never use too, we can't open that jar now, the news paper print seems to have gotten smaller, we have to take more bathroom trips, and then the inevitable happens and we pass on.

Simon had a vet visit today, the normal check up and to get a refill on his arthritis meds for his back and joints. However it was made more aware for me today just how old he is really getting, when the doctor noticed the start of cataracts on his eyes and that he now seems to have a small bladder problem. Nothing that can't be fixed with a few meds and some extra love, as I type this he is currently sleeping in my arms.

A pet comes into your home as just that a pet...they wind up becoming so much more. My little Simon is family, and with all family, you give them love, make them comfortable, and hope that the last few years they have with you are the best they can be. When the day finally comes when he has to leave me, it will be brought with many tears and many more memories.

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." ~ Anatole France

Until next time


P.S. Thanks for listening

I think I'm ready

Well the countdown is on, tickets have been bought, date has been set, lists have been made, bags are getting packed. I am ready. August is going to be here fast, and so is every other month and event this year is bringing me.

But since it is still a few months away, I need to work on the here and now. And the here and now is getting in shape and staying in shape for everything that may be coming this year. I'm looking forward to fitting in to my old jean, resting and waiting in the back of my closest. This will be the year, there is no other option.

This is the year I do exactly what I want, its my life, I might as well live it for me. You only live once, enjoy it!

So this summer is a summer to remember. I'm going to spend time with friends, see new places, listen to good music, laugh, drink, and photograph every moment. Because tomorrow is a new day, with new memories, and new adventures.

To close this blog, I'm going to quote one of my favorite musicians, Spencer Bell. I think this fits.

"Here's to all the ties we've tied. And those we've tied to tight, we'll set aside. Tonight we toast to friends and family, to enemies and strangers. Tonight we toast to gratitude."

Until next time

A letter to no one

With all I have going on this year in my life, I felt I needed to do this before I leave.
We all have to at some point cleanse ourselves of things in our life, this is mine.

To you,

I want you to know, I'll always be around. no matter what. You mattered to me once, and you still matter to me now. However, in order for me to "move on", I have to move on from you. Leaving you in my past is hard, but there's too much hurt and anger for us to continue in this fashion.

I'm slowly removing you from my life, though like I said above...I'll be around if you need me. You won't need me though, you never needed me. As much as my next words pain me...I never needed you either.

We were suppose to know each other then, and move on now.
I know you won't miss me, you never did. I want you to know I'm not angry anymore. You aren't allowed to hurt me, and I won't let you. I have forgiven you, and now I'm forgetting you.

Thank you for giving me the strength to be happy on my own. To crave life, and enjoy everything in it. I just wish you saw the beauty in life, maybe one day you will. Life's to short to always be mad and angry, sometimes you have to smile.

So smile.


The best I can do is try.

Art is very important to me, I take what I do very seriously. That's means everything I do, not just one medium. No ones ever perfect at what they do, but if you try your hardest and love what you do. That's all that matters.

Now with that said, I know most blogs of late have touched on writing in some way, well I want to share my other loves, well one of them at least. I love taking pictures, I see art and beauty in most everything. Art is strange that way. What might not be anything to one, is beautiful and inspiring to others.

Now I'm not trying to change the world, or the way we all look at things. This is all just my views on things. However I know others do share my eye and view on life. We all have common ground if you think about it. What makes us the same is what makes us different.

I hope you enjoy it and I'll be back later.


Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Why I do what I do.

"The pen, is truly mightier, than the sword."

That's a quote from the Joker  from the Batman movies. I believe it speaks the truth, words can be powerful weapons. That however isn't why I do what I do. I do what I do because I feel I have something to say, and whether anyone ever reads it, I'm going to say it anyway.

I love the freedom from writing, saying the things I want to say, the way I want to say them. I truly love what I do. There's no better gift, then the one of being able to do what you love and in my opinion, be good at it. My goal is to be able to have everyone see and read my words in book form.Its a goal with a light at the tunnel.

I also do what I do because I love art, I love all kinds of art. I listen to music as I write, I look at pictures to get ides for stories, I read other books for enjoyment and also for ideas. Art is art is art, no matter what you do. My true art is my writing.

Now I've said before this blog is for other things, besides  just talking about my book. However since I'm knee deep in said writing, most blogs of late seem to flow in that direction. I can't say this will be the last time, but I shall try to incorporate in other life things as well.

I do what I do, because I love it, because it matters to me. I do what I do, because I can. I believe we should all do what we do because we want too.

Do what you love,love what you do!

Word Nerd

I'm a word nerd. I love words, I don't have a favorite, I love all words in general. I love mixing and mangling them into new and fitting sequences, I love how words can transform anything you want to say. Words are always floating around in my head, sometimes I have too many words rumbling around to fit them all together. Sometimes I don't have not enough. I try to write everyday, empty out my mind of the thoughts and words floating around. Sometimes my mixing and mingling of words turns out, other times it's only understood by me.

Now I know I'm not the only fan of words. I'm not the only one that plays with them, making them dance the way I want them too. Word lovers come in all forms and arts. Some are writers, poets or musicians, all swim in words and cut and paste them to fit their medium. Some can add such beauty to words, while others simply write them in plain text. A good example of beautifully melded words, would be the writings and songs of Spencer Bell. Though he is no longer with us, his words still are. Continued on by friends and family, who are as big of fan as words as he was.

Currently in the process of writing my first book, I let the words of songs swirl around me as I write. Each song sending out new words for new pages. The point of this blog is to say this. As I draw near the final chapters of my writings, I was asked who all I wanted to thank and dedicate this book too. Now if I were to list everybody on those opening pages, it would be as long as the story itself. So I wanted to take this time and blog to thank at least one.

Thank you Spencer for the wonderfully beautiful words you have left behind to inspire us and make us think, and think we do. Your music and music of its kinship have helped me write countless pages, and words of struggled thoughts. For that I thank you and you'll be helping me with the next one.


Thursday, April 18, 2013

Whiskey and Cigarettes

Whiskey and Cigarettes

I'm in a sharing mood tonight. Every once in awhile I write something just not right for the project I'm working on. I save it, store it away for later. It may forever stay just that short piece, or one day have added words and feelings and become a brand new story. Rarely does it ever see the light of day, by anyone but me. I hold my writing very close to the chest, truly my baby. This one however, has always seemed to call to be shared ,I have weighed heavy on this. Going back and forth between letting it see light, or as with the others holding it for safe keeping. Even as I type this blog out, I'm undecided. I guess a bit of a "leap of faith" is in order here.

So here's to taking that leap. I hope you like it.

whiskey and cigarettes:

I let the cigarette burn to ash in the tray, my last one of the pack. The Jack teasing me with its slowly melting bottle, using a glass didn’t seem fitting. Tonight was a straight from the bottle night, the slow burn from the whiskey easing some of the pain from the day. The radio playing softly in the background, I faintly heard the song…mine. I remembered all the nights that song played, the memories and moments it brought, both good and bad. I take another swirl from the bottle, the memories of her still not drowned.

It was her or the music, the band would play on without me... her I wasn’t so sure I could live without. She was tired of the road and wanted me home, I was married to the music and the musty worn out bars. The choice it seemed had been made for me, as my messy scrawled out note was all I was leaving her. That and the music, she would always have the music. Notebooks filled with drunken midnight confessions, and declarations of promises I had long since failed to keep.

The radio played on like my memory did. The whiskey no longer burning, and my cigarette long since stubbed out. What once was our song, now just another sappy guitar strained song to the mix. The meaning and the life it once held gone with her, leaving just a melody and a bottle of Jack. She told me it was her or the music, not knowing she was my music. How I loved coming home and seeing her body laid out before me, like a fine tuned guitar, and how I loved playing every curve of her. Making music with the sounds we made, how waking up next to her, made the times on the road all the more worth the time away.

Another dark lit bar, another show, another cold motel room, and another empty bed. The whiskey and beer would flow, the music would be played, the memories relived. The same motions that have happened for years, losing there luster with every squeak of the tires hitting the road. Age and loneliness creeping up on all of us. The music stops sounding the same, the faces never changing, the memories still hurting.

They say a good musician knows when his time has come, when to let the music live on without him. My time has come and passed. The whiskeys warmed now. A notebook still left blank, begging to be touched, for music to be created on its blue lined pages. Words wrote and erased, blue lines fading with history. No music will be made tonight, no new memories will be remembered. An empty whiskey bottle and burnt out cigarettes, replace the gentle stroke of a guitar.

Tonight’s the last show, for the band will play on without me. The music now played in honor of not just her memory. A single cord will sound as my exits made. No more late night shows in musty bars, no more cold motel rooms with the beds left empty.

Just a memory, a sad song on the radio, a worn guitar, and whiskey and cigarettes.